There are times in life when you ask yourself: “Why am I doing this, really?” And your ratio cannot quite answer that question. Not even your mental power perhaps. Not your body either. But deep inside you know: because this is simply THE WAY.
When I was twenty, I left my home country, the Czech Republic, to live for a while in England. And I met some marvellous people there. One of them was an amazing Brazilian girl, now a wife and a mum living back in Brazil, who went for a prolonged weekend trip with me to Edinburgh. One evening at sunset time, we were sitting by the sea and I got all emotional and melancholic, like I do sometimes when dusk comes, especially near water – an element which strongly resonates with me.
I took my journal to write in (this was like 2002, not truly the era of blogs), because I somehow knew then already I would become a writer one day and I anticipated I might go back to those silly little notes for inspiration. And just as my eyes wondered over the empty lines yet to be filled, Marcela, with her lovely Brazilian accent said: “You know, there is probably just one aim of this single life we have. I mean, each and every single one of us would have just one aim. Perhaps sometimes we don’t know what the aim is. And we get astray. Or lost. But then we find ourselves again. Cause really, the aim is one but the paths to reach it are many.”
It is 2018 now. I am a published writer with three books on my account and a fourth one to come out in spring 2019 thanks to one of the largest and most prestigious publishing houses in my home country.
Four years ago, I could have gotten married. By now, I would probably have one or two kids. I would perhaps work part time at the University of Chemistry of Technology in Prague (where I have been teaching for ten and a half years and where I am officially employed till the end of August – with a year non-paid leave coming after, since September). I would continue writing reviews of various cultural events in Prague and maybe I would continue writing my books too. Had I stayed with my ex-partner, i.e. had he not broken up with me after a six-year relationship for another – I must say a very pretty and totally different (not just visually) – woman, who came across his path and simply seemed to be everything he ever wanted, while our relationship was troubled by various minor facts, I would THOUGH NEVER HAVE FULLY IMMERSED MYSELF IN YOGA, which I had wanted to practice properly for so many years, yet, there had never seemed to be the time for it so I just practiced at odd moments and very irregular intervals. After the break up, I gained so much time on my hands… and so, I started practicing regularly… it was really helping in many ways. Somehow, just four years ago, when I started practising on daily bases, I understood the concept of body and mind: or rather – mind and body. Because whatever you do in life, if you want to do it right, you´d better start from the mind…
I immerged myself totally. And then, those things I used to somehow know when a kid, or at early teen-age, the bizarre things I could not quite understand but certain people in my life spoke about (though rarely), the things I could feel or sometimes that even my closest family would not understand, like energetic centres, lines of force and specific atmospheres of places and people, if I use some neutral language with no thick and heavy and dense connotations – intuitive perceptions, those things began to be understood by me. It all started falling into the right places. Somehow.
In the summer of 2018 my half-sister, an officially accredited healer, who lived by then in Germany, brought some shamans she was working with from Nepal and Southern America over to Germany. With people from Colombia and Brazil I tried the medicine the indigenous people call ayahuasca or medicina cura. I have been preparing for this ceremony for more than five years and when it finally happened, it was truly intense. The medicine helps you open up whatever has been hidden or buried or forgotten deep inside. The outside ceremonies happen by fire and tend to get wild. The inside ceremonies are based on the energy of water and water connection. During ceremonies you hear Icaro songs by Native Americans and other songs; you can dance, you can sing along, but the journey usually takes you deep and during the approximately six-hour night you really plunge into realms you might have had no idea about before.
I tried an outside ceremony first and half a year later an inside one, during which I connected strongly with a native Ethiopian woman who helped me realize how deep our ancestral roots can go and how important it is to keep the various languages and traditions and customs and cultures and tribes because they really make us rich as humankind.
I would say that in life there truly are no coincidences. One thing leads to another, paths evolve and we meet just the right people at the right time. We are all teachers to one another. Just like Rakia, the Ethiopian woman, has been to me.
What the medicine helped me discover was an amazing gift. In fact, a few gifts. That I could spread and share with others. The medicine told me, too – no matter how bizarre this may sound – that we all have the ability to heal ourselves of various health issues. Basically, that everything would have its psychosomatic roots. And it hinted to me what my life path was meant to be. I remembered Marcela at that time and her: “Really, the aim is one but the paths to reach it are many.” She was so right.
I re-discovered my path, i.e. to say: we feel what is right for us to do in life, but sometimes, for some ridiculous reasons, out of fears, we avoid it…
I also remembered how my partner four years ago told me when we were breaking up: “You wanted to travel. Now you can.” He was so right.
I had a dream, about the same period of time, in which I saw a temple on water. Surrounded by mountains of volcanic origin. I had no idea what that place could be but I felt so good there and so “in the right place”. I had been having a lot of dreams at that time though, so this one just slipped my attention then. And I came back to it some months ago, when the landlord of my apartment in Prague told me he would need the place in some months for his divorcing sister.
I was thinking what to do and I truly did not feel attracted to the idea of looking for another rented apartment. And to buy a place in Prague, you really need some proper capital or you must be willing to put yourself into debt for say thirty years or more. Not attractive either. And then, all of a sudden, one night, shortly before going to sleep, this dream came to me again – I saw the temple in a vision and I felt so good. I sprang out of bed and googled world´s most famous water temples – among the top ones, I found the one: Ulun Danu temple, Bali. The decision was made in fact right at that minute. I am going to Bali.
The weeks and months flew like a dream. I found myself doing things I did not think I would ever do, like selling all my furniture (even the precious rocking chair and the antique furniture I restored myself – no need to say it was hours and hours of work and patience), my beloved flowers (even the huge lavenders in massive Provençal flower pots), some jewellery and home decorations, and giving out many things and even some of my personal belongings to charity.
I moved some clothes and books and decorations left to my mum´s place in the Ore Mountains. And I set off for the journey of my life – as I know this shall be.
And – here I am, on the beautiful island of Bali, in the paradise-like area of Amed. I will tell you about the place soon. It surely is a wonderful destination to locate oneself in.